P90X Yoga Hell

By Olivia Short ‘17

Yesterday, I survived the most horrific of all human inventions: yoga. I know what you’re thinking– “Yoga is relaxing! Deep breaths! Namaste!”, so on and so on. I was thinking these same things when my lab partner, Alex Stevens ‘17, casually mentioned that day’s track practice during chemistry. The track team occasionally takes breaks from running to do different types of exercise, and it happened to be yoga day. Some variety sounded fun– my usual treadmill time gets boring, and yoga is chill, right?
No. I was dead, dead wrong. This wasn’t just regular yoga, it was P90X extreme yoga. Full-on, hardcore, people-with-abs-do-this P90X yoga. That half hour was brutal– I’m talking planks, vertical reaching, and all kinds of god-forsaken upper body strength stuff. I died about 12 minutes in and am writing this post from the afterlife.
I admit to being overdramatic and a bit out of shape, but even the track runners were feeling the burn. If you really are looking to start yoga, don’t jump right in like I did. You’ll regret it, and so will your calves. There’s no shame in starting small.
And to all the hardcore workout-ers out there, I salute you from the comfort of my bed. You do you; I think I’ll stay here.

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