The Death of the Party

By Jenna Minnelli ’16

As sad as it is, Mercy’s production of The Addams Family has come to a close. The four day show ran from Thursday March 5th to Sunday March 8th, and I was lucky enough to be a part of it. I didn’t play any of the lead roles (and no, sadly I didn’t quite fit the role of Gomez *tear* ), but I will say that I think I was able to play one of the best characters. However, despite how pumped I was to bring my character to the stage, my pre-performance excitement had to stay locked on the inside. None of it could be shown on my face. Why? Because I played a dead person, that’s why. And dead people aren’t exactly known to express emotion. (Unfortunately…)

After a significant amount of research (which mainly consisted of watching the extras on The Walking Dead with my dad), I was ready to dazzle the audience with my knowledge of zombie culture. And out of the kindness of my heart, I am willing to pass my learnings onto you. Use these tips wisely. They may come in handy one day…

How to act dead: 

Pose #1: The “I don’t want to be here” Zombie

  • When to use: Promptly after your ACT prep class starts
  • Technique: Slouch in your chair with both feet firmly on the ground. After crossing your arms on the table, tilt your head down and stare openly in the direction of the proctor, allowing shadows to collect around your eyes. Do all this while simultaneously bobbing your head slightly to the right.
  • Remember!: A little drool never hurt anyone
    • Continue use until the proctor leaves the room or you fall asleep. (Whichever occurs first)

Pose #2: The “Don’t touch my things or I’ll attack” Zombie

  • When to use: As soon as your friend changes the radio station
  • Technique: After pulling over to the side of the road, press down on the brake immediately as though you have suddenly lost control of the muscles in your leg. Whip your head over in the direction of the victim and bare teeth. Commence deep breathing, adding a slight gravel to your voice.
  • Remember!: Just as zombies lay claim over their victims, so too must you with your possessions.
    • Continue use until victim slowly removes itself from the vehicle. Change radio station back and happily get back on the road again.

Pose #3: The “I’m naturally beautiful because I wake up every morning looking like a zombie” Zombie

  • When to use: Directly after waking up on Monday morning
  • Technique: Hurl the closest possible item at the alarm and greet the morning with a loud moan. Drag yourself out of bed and walk by never picking up your feet. Make sure one shoulder is raised slightly higher than the other. Do not brush hair. Keep dark circles under eyes highly visible.
  • Remember!: When at school, only respond to others through stares.
    • Continue use until someone compliments you on your disgruntled look.

As long as you keep your enthusiasm on the inside, you will be taken seriously as part of the clan of dead. Feel free to add your own poses to the list, and embrace the cold, emotionless person inside of you. Just remember that we do like to see your smile every once in awhile.

And what a lovely smile you have.

And what a lovely smile you have.


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