Dear Mono, You’re the Worst

By Caroline Steinmetz’17

A fever, nausea, sore throat, tonsils so large they touch when you swallow, headaches, and a swollen spleen are just some of the lovely experiences I went through when I had my favorite illness ever…mono. I’m kidding. Mono is actually the worst. But don’t just take my words for it, let me tell you my story of mono and then give you some facts to plead my case.

It all started the week of April 13th when I woke up with major allergy issues. The pollen count was up and my spirits were down from the countless eye drops(that didn’t even work) and nasal spray failures. Unfortunately by Friday that week my allergies had turned into a sinus infection making me go to the doctor on Saturday. After a fever check, interrogation, and almost choking on those enlarged q-tips, the doctor deducted I didn’t have strep and I either had a very bad sinus infection or a sinus infection and mono. Wanting to avoid a needle in the arm I decided to start taking medicine for a sinus infection and if my fever hadn’t dropped by Monday, I would take a blood test. Unfortunately, Monday came and surprise, I still felt terrible. I took a blood test and learned Monday night I had mono. This meant bed rest for a week and no physical activity for 4-6 weeks. Having worked for 6 months conditioning for lacrosse I was heartbroken learning I couldn’t finish the season. I spent a week in a half in bed dying not allowed any medication except a few steroids to reduce tonsil swelling(they didn’t work very well) and Advil to help the pain. The worst part about mono is that for a solid week I didn’t feel any better. I gave up hope and was determined I was dying. Looking back it’s pretty funny how pathetic I got. I can honestly say mono is the worst illness I have ever encountered.

In case that didn’t convince you that mono is the worst here are some statistics.

-Most Americans have been exposed to the virus at some point during their lives but don’t get sick because their bodies have built antibodies against it.(Thanks body for not being strong)

-The numbers vary with statistics showing that between 90 and 95 percent of Americans have immunity against the illness by the time they reach adulthood.

-When the EBV virus is contracted by teens and young adults, 35 to 50 percent of the infected end up getting infectious mononucleosis.

-According to 2004 statistics collected by the World Health Organization, there were a total of 78 recorded deaths caused by various strains of mono.


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