A Review of Bad Horse Movies

As an equestrian, I am very picky about media that portrays horses. One of my favorite things to do is watch bad horse movies on Netflix and scream at the TV in anger at the horribleness. Here I have hand picked a few so you can watch and have a good laugh. All my star ratings are out of 5.

1.)91BtOtts4ML._SY679_ A Horse For Summer (2015): 1 star

I found this movie in an article in a magazine that I get. My magazine made it sound like a really good movie and they interviewed the actress of the main character. Going into this, I thought it was about a girl who moved in with her aunt and uncle after a family crisis and made a bond with a horse. The movie is nothing like that at all. 

A lot of the movie takes place in a very dimly lit church and one of the main characters is a man only referred to as Pastor Bob. At one point the “love interest” in the movie who is 6 years older than Summer in real life (!) sings, and that was really not something I needed to hear. The movie is really amateur along the lines of acting, script, set, and videography. Besides a few riding scenes that include horrible equitation, there is not really any relationship with horses. There is a part where one horse dies, but it’s so completely fake I laughed. Is it legal for movies to be this bad in 2015? Apparently so. Don’t waste your time with this movie.

2.) Unknown Danny (1977): 3 stars

While this movie was better quality than the previous, it was still pretty bad. This was about a poor girl working at a barn where the horses of a rich girl were kept. The rich girl gets a new pony and Janie, the main character, thinks he’s the greatest thing ever. The rich girl really can’t ride, (her legs flap around in the breeze) so Janie prepares Danny for shows where he promptly dumps the rich girl in the mud.  Danny ends up getting hurt and Janie takes care of him and eventually he is bought for her by her mother’s boyfriend.

Unknown-1

A good example of Betty’s equitation. *laughs*

The rich girl gets a new horse and she and Janie face off at the end of the year show. Janie ends up winning because it’s an underdog movie. The equitation and riding in general were pretty bad and the whole movie was a very cliche “horse movie.” I might suggest watching this just to see what riding looked like in the 70’s (and to see people fall off) but there’s lots better options for horse movies than this one.

3.) MV5BMTU5MjQ4NDY4Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODEyNDk2OA@@._V1_SX640_SY720_Cowgirls ‘N Angels (2012): 1 star

I myself have not watched this movie but one of my best friends Cheyenne, who also rides, has. She let me ask her some questions about this movie. The basic summary about this movie is that there’s a team of trick riders led by an older man and he recruits a young girl to the team because he thinks she is bored and has dreams of being on the team. She has hopes of finding a father she never met. Chey’s comments on this movie are that it’s not a very good production and the equitation is not very good (we are sticklers for eq). She also states that the story line is very cliche. If you watch the trailer you’ve seen enough and can totally see what Chey means when she says it’s not a good production. She does not recommend this movie.

If you want to watch a good horse movie (⅘ stars) here is a list of a few suggestions:

Secretariat (2010)

Storm Rider (2013)

National Velvet (1944)

Katie Wegman ’18

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