Ranking Super Bowl Commercials

By Anna Burger ’18

OK, so the Super Bowl happened. And if you haven’t been living under a rock, hopefully you know the Broncos won. But let’s be honest here. Most of us only watch the Super Bowl for one reason and for one reason only: the commercials. Good for all those avid football fans who can say they were completely tuned into every snap, but those are probably far and few between. Most people aren’t.

According to various sources, in 2015 a 30 second Super Bowl commercial costs around 4.5
million. That’s basically $150,000 per second. Mere pocket change. In 1967, a thirty second slot cost about $42,000. That means over the last 49-50 years, there has been $4,495,800 increase in prices. At that price, you’d hope the commercials would actually be good.

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Super Bowl 50 logo

Ever since I was little, Super Bowl commercials always left their mark on my young soul.
However, as I grow older and wiser in years, it seems that the quality of commercials has been on a downward projectile. I first noticed the trend a couple of years ago, and each year I hope to be proven wrong. And I’m not. I have noted one change, and I will pass that valuable piece of information on to you. There are way too many show commercials for the Super Bowl. Someone commented to me that that happens when the station has empty commercial slots. So twenty years from now, when you’re rich and CEO of your own company, make a whole bunch of good quality commercials,  air them on the Super Bowl and relieve us of the misery of typical commercials. OK, probably not the best way to spend your hard earned cash, but you get the idea.

Let’s not get away from the point though. Super Bowl commercials, for the most part, are funny and worth your time, unlike the other meaningless stupid ads that typically fill our T.V. hours. So for your convenience, I have compiled a list of the top ten commercials from this year, 2016. Please watch for your enjoyment.

Number 10: Distant Memory, Advil

I don’t think Grandmas are supposed to bend like that…

Number 9: Pass it on Sweepstakes, Esurance

You can pass me a football of cash anytime you want.

Number 8: Willem Dafoe as Marilyn Monroe, Snickers

Classic addition to the Snickers franchise of not being you when you’re hungry.

Number 7: Love the Outside, Marmot

It’s got the cute factor. Can you blame me?

Number 6: #avosinspace, Avocados from Mexico

Actually, seeing this commercial did almost start a riot between my friends and I over that dumb white and gold dress.

Number 5: The Longest Chase Toyota Prius

You should never rob a bank, but if you do, do it in style.

Number 4: Drake, “Hotline Bling” T. Mobile

I think this just speaks for itself.

Number 3: Doritos Dogs

Man’s best friend: dog. Dog’s best friend: food (Doritos). Surprised?

Number 2: First Date, Hyundai

Anyone else find this a bit stalkerish?

Number 1: Doritos baby

Dear future husband, if you eat Doritos during an ultrasound, I will hit you.

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